Saturday, May 28, 2011

The Gospel According to Bill Maher

Thought you might be interested in this email I received yesterday:

On his HBO show Real Time Bill Maher posed the question to Republicans, “How many Muslims does a black guy have to kill in one weekend before crackers climb down off his ass?”

Bill Maher opened up with, “Now that it’s become clear that the Republicans, the fiscally conservative strong on defense party are neither fiscally conservative nor strong on defense, they have to tell us what exactly it is they’re good at. It’s not defense. 9/11 happened on your watch, and you retaliated by invading the wrong country, and you lost a 10 year game of hide and seek with Osama Bin Laden, and you’re responsible for running up most of the debt, which more than anything makes us weak.”

Maher continued, “You’re supposed to be the party with the killer instinct, but it was a Democrat who put a bomb in Gadhafi’s bedroom, and bullet in Bin Laden’s eye like Moe Green. Raising the question how many Muslims does a black guy have to kill in one weekend before crackers climb down off his ass? Let’s look at some facts. Now for you Fox News viewers feel free to turn down the sound until the flashing facts light at the bottom of your screen disappears.”

He then rolled out the facts, “When Bill Clinton left office in 2001, the Congressional Budget Office predicted that by the end of the decade we would have paid off the entire debt and had $2 trillion surplus. Instead we have a ten and a half trillion dollar public debt and the different in those two numbers is mostly because Republicans put tax cuts for the rich, free drugs for the elderly, and two wars on the layaway plan, and then bailed on the check, so so much for fiscal responsibility.”

Bill Maher then destroyed the idea that Republicans are strong in national security, “But hey, at least they still had the defense thing right? The public still believed Republicans were tougher when it came to hunting down dark skinned foreigners with funny sounding names. But Bush had 7 years to get Osama, he didn’t. He got Wesley Snipes. Only 6 months after 9/11 Bush said he didn’t spend that much time on Bin Laden that he was no longer concerned about him. Just as he wasn’t before 9/11 when he blew off that mysterious inscrutable memo titled Bin Laden determined to attack inside the United States . In under a year Bush went from who gives a shit, to wanted dead or alive, back to who gives a shit.”

After calling out the Republicans for criticizing Obama for during the 2008 campaign for saying that he would go into Pakistan to get Bin Laden, and asked Republicans, “Why can’t you just admit that Barack Obama is one efficient, steely nerved, multitasking, black ninja gansta president? In one week he produced his birth certificate, comforted disaster victims, swung by Florida to say hey to Gabby Giffords, did stand up at the Correspondents’ Dinner, and then personally repelled into in Bin Laden’s lair and put a Chinese star though his throat without waking up any of his 13 wives. That’s how it went down, I saw it on MSNBC.”

The truth is that the 30% of America that Bill Maher mentioned will never support Obama no matter what he does. Unlike Democrats who did rally behind President Bush after 9/11, many Republicans can only view the Obama presidency with bitter jaundiced eyes that are only capable of seeing all the vast conspiracies that explain why they were not able to keep the presidency, which they believe they are entitled to.

Maher had it right. Obama had an incredible week last week, but within 48 hours the right was back hard at work trying to delegitimize his accomplishments while at the same time taking credit for themselves. What is absolutely eating the Obama haters up inside right now is that he got Bin Laden. Since 9/11 Republicans have treated the issue of national security as their birthright, but Obama showed them what a real commitment to keeping America secure looks like.

Barack Obama is everything Republicans wish they were, but don’t have the guts to be.

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